( A ) City Christmas
* [ For my friends, my Christmas present to you.] *
It's Christmas time in ( A ) city. Everything is running like clockwork, well except for the buses.This has Til Five Terror sleeping in bed. He's dreaming of blowing things up at 7:00 PM. Mandusa is giving gifts to himself, there is nobody he loves more. The Runner is running, while The Cowboy is lonely without a cowgirl. The Yo-bros are eating together, as The Squirrely, squirrel, squirrel guy is just plain nuts.
At the Sander's home, Mia, who is Suki and Doug's daughter from the future has found a place to stay. Suki figured out who she was by the technology she used. It was what her company was currently working on. At least Suki knows it will work. At this residence, the most famous hero of all lives. ( A ) is the city, ( B ) is the street, which is smack dab in the middle of county ( C ). Although the hero is not at home. No citizens, he is perched on high. He is on the roof of the tallest building in the city. The ( A ) city newspaper.
Tko stands ready, with his mighty armor on. His lance is firmly in his hand. He is looking for evil, not just any evil, but someone in red. Looking down, he has spotted someone in red. He takes the first step, quite literally off the building. Yes, he should have used the elevator, but he never thinks ahead. A sound similar to a bomb being dropped can be heard, if the citizens were normal, they might actually look for where the sound was coming from, this is ( A ) city so no. Faster and faster he has built up speed.
The impact was so strong that small tremors could be felt. Suki just ignores the shaking, in fact she has come to expect things like that. Upon pulling himself out of the crater made by his head first fall. Scanning the street he has noticed something
" [ TKO] Hey, why is there a big hole here? Evil has shown itself, no Evil Red has shown himself!"
Heartbroken over the damage that Evil Red had done, our hero had devised a plan to catch him.
On his sleigh headed towards ( A ) city, this red clad man is excited. Even more jolly than normal.
"[Santa] Oh Suki, you have been a naughty girl this year, very naughty indeed."
What, Suki is on the naughty list? Why, what could she have done? A buzzing sound started from the dashboard of the sleigh. He knows who it is, but he has to answer, or he'll get into trouble. After he had pushed a button on the dashboard, a screen rose up. On that screen was a vision of beauty. A long blonde haired vixen. She wore only a tank top and red shorts. Her measurements were 38-26-36. The name of this vision was Kandi.
"[Santa] Ho, ho, ho, yo Kandi, whats up?"
"[Kandi] Don't you whats up me. Listen, once you get to ( A ) city, call me back."
"[Kandi] What makes you think that you get to question me? Would you like to find your first wife again? Maybe she will make you those cookies you ask for."
"[Santa] No dear, I'm sorry. I won't do it again."
"[Kandi] Alright, but remember to call me!"
It would seem that there is a new hotter Mrs Claus. What happened to the first one? Anyways back in ( A ) city. A cute little girl has been running up and down the aisles. She is looking for the perfect Christmas tree. It just has to be the best tree ever. Too small, too big, not green enough. Nothing looked just right, until she saw it.
"[Cute little girl] Here it is daddy, this is the one. I want this one daddy."
The tree she wants is perfect. Its the one she wants. It is Tko holding his mighty lance, that is disguised with a pair of tree shaped glasses on it. Little girl, you must be able to see. The father takes one look at the " tree" and then goes to talk to the man up front. Sorry young child, but your father had seen through the disguise. He is coming back with a dolly. He bought the tree.
The tree was put onto the top of their car. It took three guys to pick the tree up, I mean Tko weighs 190 lbs, I mean the tree weighs 190 lbs. With everything fastened down, they exit the tree lot. One bump, and then two, and the strap busted on one side. The tree was being dragged behind the car. Good grief man, you are dragging a human being. At least pull over to check. One bump, and our hero goes into the air, and then sparks as his armor is being ripped off with each bump. Bump, sparks, rip, repeat. This continued for 11 miles. Finally at their home, the family got the tree inside. It only took three neighbors to help carry the tree in. With all of the bouncing, our hero has only his socks, his underwear, and his lance with the tree shaped green glasses. You won't believe where they hung the ornaments.
At the Sander's residence, Suki and Mia are not quite seeing eye to eye.
"[Mia] Why do I have to do what you say?"
"[Suki] By chance have you forgotten that I am your mother?"
"[Mia] Tch, not yet."
"[Suki] Well, I could make it that you never get conceived little girl!"
"[Mia] Uh, cha, fine, I'll go check on dad."
Now that Suki had threatened her existence, Mia was willingly obedient. Why all of the animosity you ask? Its simple, both Suki and Mia are jealous, and they want to be the most important woman in his life.
The ringing of the bells on the sleigh indicated that Santa was here. He parked the sleigh in the backyard. The elves had made him keys to all of the homes, because he dislikes the chimney. Aren't you going to call Kandi? Unlocking the door Santa entered the house. He had made his way to the living room. He can see the stockings hung on the fireplace. His first stop is the tree where mom and dad had placed the presents that they had bought the children. Placing his bag down, he takes a good look around. Once he his satisfied that he is alone, Santa turned back towards the tree. With a big grin, he is punched in the face by a Christmas tree fist. The tree is moving Santa thinks? No, you now face the justice of Tko.
In the backyard a nice lady approaches the sleigh. She pets the reindeer, and then smiles. The reindeer love her instantly.
"[Nice lady] Could you take me to my home?"
The reindeer all agree. She climbed up inside, and the sleigh took off. Carrying the nice lady to her home. While inside, Santa took another punch to the face. Quit it Tko, this Santa your hitting. He will put you on the naughty list.
"[Santa] What do you want, and could you puts some pants on?"
At this point Tko had dropped his lance.
"[ TKO] FIEND, EVIL DOER, you are Red Evil, and justice will thwart your evil plans!"
Uh, this is Santa, what evil could he do?
"[ TKO" You replace the expensive presents that the parents buy, and replace them with cheap knock offs. You then sell the stolen presents and put the money in your own pocket."
You are wrong Tko, just wrong. This is Santa, not an evil villain.
"[Santa] How did you find out?"
What? No Santa, no. How could you be evil?
"[ TKO] You enter into home with presents already under the tree. Your bag is full coming in, and it is still full when you leave. Which means your are replacing gifts in the bag."
"[Santa] Ah, aha, ha, ho, ho, ho, you know that I can't let you tell anyone right boy? I am going to get rid of you!"
Whoa, Santa has started to take off his coat. After ripping his shirt off, he reveals his chiseled physique. Santa is buffed, but the white beard and hair still makes it funny. Apparently he is proud of his body. He is now posing in front of Tko. Our hero responds with a punch to the nose. Santa stumbled backwards a few feet. Tko moves in to land another blow. However Santa side stepped him. Tko fell forward, and his belly landed across Santa's knee. Santa began to spank our hero. Oh our heroes bottom is going to be soar.
"[ TKO] FIEND, this is sexual harassment!"
Tko will have none of this. He reached out and found his lance.
'[Santa] Hey, where did he go? He was just right here!"
Santa had lost sight of Tko. Although Tko can see Santa. Grabbing the back of Santa's head, he pushed his Santa's face through the side wall. Santa can see an adorable girl with short brown hair looking at him. It was Mia, and she hates perverted old men.
"[Mia] Tch, what a geezer, just die already!"
Mia punch the perverted old man in the nose. She hits hard, just like Tko. Santa wondered why. Tko having his head pushed back into his hand came to the obvious conclusion.
" [TKO] Justice demands another enlightening push, you Red Evil doer."
How he came to that conclusion is beyond me, but Santa's face got pushed through the wall on the other side. Still not enough, Tko pulls the head out, and tries to push it through the first hole he made. Except the hole was gone. Both men turn to look at the second wall, but it was fixed also. Looks like the ( A ) city construction crew is on the ball today. Tko pushes Santa's head through the first wall again, and then the second, again through the first. Each time they turn around the wall is fixed again. Tko having fun turns to push the head back through the original wall, but they stop and stare. A sign was placed over the hole. Gone on break. Both men turn again, but the hole was still there. Finally turning back the sign was gone, and the wall was fixed. Santa came through the wall this time.
"[Santa] What was that? I never saw what was putting me through the walls."
That is because Tko was in disguise. The power of invisibility, Santa wondered. Santa ran and grabbed his bag of toys. From inside the bag Santa starts to bring out help. In the form of three henchmen. The first one was named Rash. Rash stood 3 feet tall, and wore tight red clothes. His likes are video games. The second was called Big Manny, well be cause he was bigger than Rash. He stood 4 feet tall, but was very muscular in his build. He is dressed like a Roman gladiator. Big Manny likes long walks in his mind. The third was given the name Bobo, why, yeah Santa was just too lazy to come up with anything else. Bobo stands 3 & 1/2 feet tall. His dress preference is actually a dress. Although, he is wearing a manly muffler.
"[Bobo] Its a kilt!"
Okay, the dress was a kilt, but a pretty one though.
" [Rash] Santa, what's up?"
"[Big Manny] Yo Santa."
"[Bobo] Do you want someone to burn? Besides the Narrator?"
Sheesh, tell the truth, and they all get testy!
"[Santa] Yes, go get that guy!"
As the three look around they can see a house, Santa, a real pretty girl on the phone arguing with whoever the " Hag" was, and a Christmas tree. All they could do was get the guy, All three try to attack Santa, as he was the only him they saw. Santa was now on the receiving end of headbutt to stomach, a " Christmas tree" being hit over his back, and a stick of dynamite shoved down his shorts.
"[Santa] You ungrateful brats!"
Santa now pulled a toy gun out of his bag. The gun was quite big. Like a canon big. One by one he caught and put his henchmen into the toy gun. Pulling the trigger launched the three fellows in a western direction. Santa stood there shaking his fist as they flew out of sight.
That stick of dynamite had finally exploded. Santa was now sporting twin cheeks.
"[Mia] Perverted old geezer! Tch."
Big Manny was up, and started to look for his buddies.
"[Big Manny] Uh, Rash, Bobo, you dudes okay?"
Big Manny was walking looking around. Crunch, crunch. He found an abandoned building. Big Manny entered the building. Crunch, crunch. Where did his pals go, he asked himself. Did they run off, another question in his mind. Crunch, crunch.
He saw a shadow dart across. It went to the left. Crunch, crunch, crunch. He made it to the far left wall.
He heard a squeak behind him. Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. Stopping at the far right wall, he saw nothing.
Big Manny turned around, and saw a shadow flying towards him.
It was a small mouse. It had drop kicked his knee. The mouse rolled backwards and reached behind his back. The mouse then pulled out some nun-chucks. Tiny chucks that he started to to twirl. Darting the furry assassin swung the chucks. Hit after hit after hit. Big Manny was shocked. A ninja was here. Crunch, Big Manny tried to step on the mouse. Crunch, miss, crunch miss. Every attempted stomp was a miss. It just came to him.
"[Big Manny] Why is there a crunch whenever I take a step?"
Looking down at his feet, he saw Rash on the bottom of his left foot, while Bobo was stuck on his right.
"[Big Manny] Where have you guys been?"
From a warp, the beautiful Kandi walks out. Wearing as little as possible. A nightgown and underwear.
"[Kandi] He was supposed to call me. I guess he found more important things to do."
I told him to call you. Back at the Santa vs Tko throw down. Santa was trying desperately to find his invisible assailant.
"[Santa] Show yourself, you little punk!"
"[ TKO] Justice is only blind to those who are evil. After you I will stop that evil ocean."
Mia has been watching the whole time. She has sat down on the curb.
"[ TKO] What? Ice cream!"
Ice cream? Tko has forgot about the fight. He ran to the curb, still holding his lance. He had found the direction.
"[ TKO] It's that way, it's coming from that way!"
What ice cream truck, I don't see anything. Don't you know that it is midnight on Christmas? You know it is the cold time of the year? From the corner an ice cream turns onto the street. Along with the ice cream truck, there are at least thirty citizens following it. Citizens of all ages. From 7 years of age to 90. Some are running after the truck, while others are trying to hang onto the truck as moves along. Yes, our hero has his five ( A ) notes out. Where he kept that is anyone's guess. Oh, it seems like Santa wants ice cream too. Even Mia is standing and hold her ( A ) notes out. The truck stops in front of Santa, and he gets a popsicle. It pulls off, and then stops at Mia, she likes drumsticks. What will Tko get. The truck pulls out, and here it comes, and it passes our hero by. Well, you are in disguise, the ice cream man can't see you.
"[ TKO] Justice wants ice cream. You can't forget justice! YOU DON'T FORGET JUSTICE!!!"
A huge aura is now emitting from Tko. If anyone could see him, they would notice the mother of all tantrums about to explode. Running into the middle of the street, our hero took the lance with both hands and swung it like a baseball bat. He connected with the truck. The ice cream truck along with the thirty followers has been sent to California. An amazing scene was on display. A Christmas tree was repeatedly slamming itself into the street. The street was being destroyed with each bodyslam.
Tko finally stopped his rampage. He raised his head to look at Santa. Uh oh, Santa is getting the blame.
"[ TKO ] It was you wasn't it?!"
Tko has taken the glasses off the lance. He had no need for a disguise now. Santa cost him ice cream, and was going to pay. Santa just knew he was in trouble, but he had to finish his popsicle. Upon finishing, he had dropped the wrapper then turned to run. Mia stretched her feet out to trip the Red Evil. Now face first, he felt Tko's presence behind him. Turning enough to look behind, he saw Tko pick up the wrapper from the ground.
"[ TKO] There is a fine for littering. You're going to pay it now!"
Tko slid the wrapper on the end of his lance. Santa must need an enema.
We are back at the abandoned building. Big Manny has just learned that he had a new pair of shoes. Once Rash and Bobo had been removed from Big Manny's feet, he found himself all alone, as the other two decided to become a duo. They still have a problem. A tiny, but huge problem in a nun-chuck twirling ninja trained mouse. Big Manny came up with the plan to stomp on the mouseja. On the opposite side of the building Rash and Bobo had decided to burn the mouse. Stomp, stomp. Big Manny can be heard battling the master of ninja arts.
"[Rash] Bobo, there are only to holes in the wall. One where Big Manny is at the rear wall. The second is here at the right wall. I'm going to start a fire in the rear hole after chasing him into it. You hold the dynamite, and when he sticks his head out light the fuse and put the dynamite in the hole."
"[Bobo] Fire, in the hole. The pretty fire."
Bobo is really frightening right now. Rash lit a couple of rags on fire. He ran at the mouseja. Chasing him back into the rear wall hole. After placing the burning rags in the hole, he ran back over to where Bobo was waiting with two sticks of dynamite in his hand. Rash bent over to look at the hole. Once he saw the mouse stick his head out.
"[Rash] Bobo, put it in the hole!"
Bobo lit both sticks of dynamite, and then put it in the hole.
"[Rash] Whoa! What are you doing Bobo? I like you l as a friend, but that's a little too far."
A thought just came to Rash. While he was still bent over he decided to look between his legs. He can see a lit fuse, and the fuse led to a stick of dynamite. The dynamite was in his hole. I picked the wrong partner, he thought as shot up into the ceiling of the building. He hit the ceiling running. Going in circles, he knocked down an old light socket shaped like a salad bowl from the ceiling.
Poor Big Manny was just looking for the mouse to stomp on him. What he got was the light socket on his head. Since the explosion heated up the sides, it molded to his metal shoulder gear.
"[Big Manny] Attack me will you!"
He was in a rage. He became unstoppable as he started to run through the walls of the building. Going back and forth from inside to outside. Bobo was still happy about the one stick still in his hand. It was lit also. The red streak known as Rash ran into the back of Bobo, forcing him to shove the hand with the dynamite into his mouth. He did what anyone would do at that moment, he swallowed it.
"[Bobo] I have a fire in my belly now!"
The dynamite exploded, and fire began to flow from his mouth. Pushing his body backwards out of the building. He went through the wall, and landed on Big Manny's shoulder as he was running around. Both were now going in a circle about twenty feet in diameter. Finally, all three had stopped. Rash was stuck halfway through the rear wall. Big Manny was hungry, while Bobo was face first on the ground.
"[Bobo] I think I'm going to hurl."
He apparently has motion sickness. The smoke from the dynamite started to form words in the air.
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From out of the rubble that was once a building, the Mouseja started shaking his fist while squeaking. I speak mouse, Hey that's not nice. Leave their mothers out of this. He is squeaking again. You leave MY mother out of this! He just left after saying those horrible things.
Santa ran back into the house carrying his bag. His movements are a little labored now. He keeps picking at his backside. That wrapper is too far to reach. Santa had to use it now. Pulling out a rectangle shaped box. He had prepared for just such a day. Inside the box, was the " Limited Edition". This was a sword that was on par with Tko's lance. It's out of the box now. Santa's eyes opened wide.
"[Santa] Crap, childproof plastic!"
The Limited Edition was covered in a hard plastic. Santa tried to pull it off, but he could budge it. Tko smashes through the wall swinging his lance. Santa had to back up to avoid being hit. He needs something to cut the plastic, but what? He tried to dart to the kitchen. Only to be cut off by our hero. Pointing his lance at Santa.
"[ TKO ] Evil gets no lunch break! "
Santa decides to retreat further into the house. He ran into the study. He saw a pair of tweezers, crusty ones at that. He decides to bite it instead. After losing a tooth, Santa changed his mind. With the tweezers in hand he starts to clip away at the corner of the plastic. His aim was to expose the handle of the sword, and pull it free of the plastic. Tko has found Santa. With a full swing from his right shoulder to his left, he attempts to clobber evil. Santa ducks, and then clips some more. Dodge clip, roll, clip. Baking up, clip, and then finally. With a piece of the plastic ready to pull, he grabs the corner with is fingers and pulls. A two inch piece comes up.
"[Santa] Are you kidding me?"
Santa was heartbroken now. All of that effort with next to no results. Maybe you shouldn't have been evil. Santa did the only thing he could. His back went up against the wall, he had nowhere else to move. Clang, Santa had to use the sword as is. The sword held up against the force of Tko's lance. Although, the sword did fly out of his hand, and went sailing through a window, and disappeared into the night. The plastic made the sword slick, and when he blocked the lance the sword slip out out. Santa screamed like a baby, and ran outside.
Tko gave chase to Santa. Reaching the middle of the street, Santa whistled. A dog came out from the bag. It ran to where Santa was standing. Santa made sure to point at Tko.
"[Santa] Bounce boy."
The dog started to bounce like a ball. As he got close to our hero, he rolled under Tko.
" [ TKO ] A bouncie bouncing bouncer. "
Tko could only bend down and look. The dog launched straight up into Tko's belly. Both were now headed into the night sky. Tko looked up at the moon. As he grew closer, he could see a sleigh. In that sleigh was a pretty lady with shoulder length brown hair.
"[ TKO ] Mother, is that you?"
"[ Nice Lady] Doug, you're so big. How long has it been?"
" [ TKO ] Where have you been? "
" [Nice Lady] You always did lose your clothes. Here its cold out, take this."
She took her coat off and put it on Doug. Well, it was small on him, I mean Doug isn't little. Doug went in to hug his mother. She in turn also wanted to hug the son she hadn't seen in years. Wait, how is Doug standing on air. Look, he is just standing there, the dog already fell back to the ground. Tko starts to fall before they can hug. Oh, was that my fault? No, it was Fates fault. This your fault Fate. You're so mean!
Tko went straight through the street. Santa walked over to the hole. He had won. Santa was going to get away with his evil plot. Darn you Fate, why did you interfere? Starting to dance over the hole Santa was gloating. With a grin on his face, and with the occasional pick at his behind. That wrapper was still up there. Santa stopped dancing, and started to laugh out loud.
"[Santa] Hohoho, hohoho, hohoho. Hohoho, hohoho,hoho oh, my ornaments!"
What happened you ask? Well Tko got up and wanted to wave goodbye to his mother. He stuck his lance up over his head. In doing so, the lance slammed through the street, and was shoved straight into Santa's Christmas package. Tko climbed up out of the hole. Santa was there holding some jewels with his eyes rolled back into his head.
" [ TKO ] You dare give justice the evil eye? Spear!"
With his ultimate battle cry, Tko slammed his fingers into Santa's rolled back eyes. Nobody give justice the evil eye. Santa was defeated. Tko wanted to cry.
" [ TKO ] Mother?"
As he looked into the night sky for his mother, a pair of sexy arms reached around our hero. They pulled him backwards, until he was resting in between a pair of weapons.
"[Kandi] Oh, do you miss your mother? How about I be your new mom?"
Tko was afraid, he knew it was evil, but he was helpless. Was this going to be the end of justice?
"[Suki] I thought I told you to watch him Mia?"
"[Mia] Tch, he's right there!"
"[Suki] Mia, you go home. Whoever you are blondie, you are going to die!"
"[Santa] You are such a naughty girl Suki."
Santa was grabbing Suki's leg while talking, although only dog's could hear his voice right now. Suki didn't seem to like the pervert grabbing her. Santa as now headed back to the North Pole without his sleigh.
"[Kandi] What kind of wife are you? Your husband was heartbroken over his mother. Where were you? I have to comfort him now."
Kandi said as she pushed Tko's head further into danger.
"[ Suki] Why do you think I came here? What about the first Mrs. Claus? Did you do something to her?"
"[Kandi] No, she was the mastermind behind the toy switch for years. She had made enough money to finally live her dream. So, she left Santa, and opened an interperative dance studio for the penguins. I just took over where she left off."
Kandi was now holding Tko up without using her hands. Tko didn't know what was going on. This was a new kind of attack.
"[Kandi] Don't worry big boy, momma will make it all better."
Kandi said as she rubbed his cheek. Suki was pissed now. She wanted to destroy Kandi's weapons of mass comfort.
The fight was legendary. Both fighters were evenly matched. Kandi with her massive strength, vs Suki and her quickness her ninja skill, and her telepathy. Tko was being bounced off of every object in the neighborhood.
Mia had finally made it home. As she entered the house, which was about a block from the fight, she could see a pretty lady making cookies.
"[Mia] Oh Grandma. That's right, you were still wondering around at this point."
"[Nice Lady] Well, who might you be?"
"[Mia] I'm Mia, Doug's daughter."
"[Nice Lady] Doug's daughter? Oh, then you are my Granddaughter then."
"[Mia] I will be yeah."
"[Nice Lady] So, this beautiful lady in the picture must be your mother."
"[Mia] I have no mother, it's just me and dad."
Mia and grandma got along fine, until it was bedtime. Grandma tucked Mia into bed. Mia likes her Grandma. After Mia went to sleep, Grandma decided to go check on her son. She walked out into the street. She took a look at Tko being bounced off the curb. One step, two steps, and then her mind reset back to one day ago. Where was she at she wondered. Those reindeer knew who she was, and where to take her. The problem was when she took three hundred steps, her mind resets one day. Now the reindeer were gone. She saw a house across the street. They opened the door after she had knocked.
"[Nice Lady] Excuse me, but do I live here?"
"[Man] Yes you do."
Everybody likes the nice lady.