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papa waѕ a rollιn' ѕтone

Last Login:
March 25th, 2019

Gender: Male
Status: In a relationship
Age: 109
Country: United States

Signup Date:
July 05, 2014



03/09/2019 04:36 PM 


//Well, guys I feel like it’s been a long time coming. I’ve hardly had time to be here lately with so much career opportunities going on in life. So, I’m officially calling it. I'm putting this account on a semi-permanent hiatus. I’ve considered it carefully and came to the conclusion that, despite how much I love writing Sasuke, I can’t dedicate enough time here. And when I do get the occasional moment to come online, I know there’s something else I should be focusing on. I know many of you hate Sasuke, but It's disturbing and Ignorant. Dealing with the likes of judgmental, cyberbullies, and don't judge behind the character that's going by Sasuke at times, if you do, it's damn right Ignorant. I have parents that served and family members on my father's side that are serving/retired, and they lost friends, and I know how much it means to them. It’s shameful to see members on this site demonetize our Armed Forces members and their families or those who are in the public service field like myself. While I was growing up, my experience with the Armed Forces was pretty humbling and heartfelt experience.

But over the last few years I have been lucky enough to work closely with the Armed Forces members and their families in a series of different capacities, and I have learned a great deal about what love and sacrifice truly means.

The people I work with are primarily severely wounded. They have lost limbs and suffered traumatic combat-related injuries such as Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and etc. At first, I’ll admit, that was what I noticed about them. I noticed their wheelchairs. I noticed their prosthetics. I noticed their spouses and their children and thought, “Wow, it is so horribly sad that this family has to go through this knowing this could be me or my parents or anyone in my family.”

Again, much has changed since. While I do still wish these families, many of whom I have come to consider family of my own, had never gone through all they have, I realize there is so much more to notice than the physical.

These men and women and their families have taught me it isn’t the circumstances in your life that define you; it is how you react to those circumstances that makes you the person you are which I already know too much about. It is no secret that the men and women, and spouses, and staff I have worked with have been through horrible circumstances. Not every day is a triumph, and no days are particularly “easy,” but they continue on. Yes, they deal with these injuries and yes, they will have to do so every day for the rest of their lives, but that is just one aspect of who they are. And I get that everyone can do whatever they want. But there’s a time and a place. Show some respect, and that’s just how I feel.

I’ll still be around, checking in every once in a while, answering messages. The friends I’ve made here are and always will be wonderful. I’ll continue to talk to you guys. And if anyone wants to message me, feel free. But there won’t be anymore posts. I answered everything I had left in my inbox. I must apologize dearly to all those I can no longer write stories with and those friend request I never got the chance to accept.

Now there’s too many of you to thank individually, and I’m certain I’ll forget people, but what can I say, you guys are the best ;)
I’ve learned so much from you all. My writing has improved greatly over the course of these amazing years by merely interacting with everyone.
I’ve gained friendships that went beyond Aniroleplay and some as old as the moment I stumbled my way through day one.
I’ve enjoyed writing Sauske so very much ♥ And I’m overwhelmed with all the positive feedback and praise I’ve received for my portrayal. It’s been a wild journey throughout the series for Sasuke and I’ve loved every part of it.
I’ll definitely miss being here! My experience of role-playing has been one I’ll never forget!! I just feel it’s time I give my undivided attention to my story and moving forward with all my future endeavors. I had just recently completed my undergraduate degree in nursing and although I am working in the emergency department I had a lot less time that I couldn't dedicate myself to role-play. I’m glad to have this opportunity to share my work. I feel so young in my career, especially when I see other people’s work and how much they have done and I couldn’t ask for a better experience and opportunity to·serve my community. I am not only thankful but also honored to be starting a higher education program this month which I will be finishing up this year thanks to the Montgomery GI Bill. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that my family, friends and my workplace strongly supports and encourages me to advance my career and knowledge. It’s been a blessing. I’ll still check into this account from time to time and check messages, etc., and thank you all for reading and being such great people on here. I’ve really enjoyed my time role-playing with a lot of you, and hope to do so in the near future. For now, farewell~♥ ||

'It ain't over till the fat lady sings'! (ง'̀-'́)ง
I'll be back ♥

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02/22/2019 02:02 PM 

Journal Stuff

Life is mostly froth and bubble
Two things stand like stone.
Kindness in another’s trouble,
Courage in your own.

Some of the poems deal with the business of doctoring. In “The Guest House” by Jelaluddin Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks), he writes:

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
Meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes,
Because each has been sent
As a guide from beyond.

That’s a poem for a last surgery on a Friday when you are exhausted. Recognise, because it’s true, that the patient has been sent “as a guide from beyond.” Remember too, as Iain Bamforth writes in his poem:

The ear says more 
Than any tongue.

And, as Andrew Greig writes:

The hard art
Lies in knowing when to stop.

02/22/2019 02:01 PM 

Journal Stuff

I’ll be the first to admit,

that I am totally jaded.

I’m a realist, not a pessimist.

But my trust and hope have faded.

I’ve taken the good and the bad,

and the world’s ugly truth on my shoulders.

I face these so you don’t have to,

and in doing so I’ve grown colder.

If it seems that I have no emotion,

or as if I just don’t care,

I want you to understand

what’s going on behind the blank stare.

I've seen the faces of death and evil,

as they stared right through me.

And then I pissed them off,

when I got that patient breathing.

And I see the faces of young lives lost

way before their time.

I fought like hell to get ’em back.

They are forever etched into my mind.

All of the things people refuse to acknowledge,

are still very much real.

I see them every shift I work.

They use to bother me, when I could still feel.

I know you think I sleep too much,

but if I seem peaceful please let me be.

Because most of the times I close my eyes,

it isn't pleasant dreams that I see.

They say we are a different breed,

the “black sheep,” if you will.

We work our craft with passion,

and execute with precision skill.

Our humor may be dark.

You may think we're twisted but nope,

we mean no disrespect,

this is just how we cope.

My online friendships never last,

because their feelings always get hurt.

When I tell them I've been married since 18 …

Yes I'm married … To my work.

In an increasingly needed industry,

that is highly demanding,

I still consider myself lucky,

when I get ready for work every day.

Even with all the bad in the world,

and the odds against us are stacked,

we still love what we do,

because we believe we still make an impact.

As long as I believe this,

I'll continue what I do at any cost.

This is why I say I'm jaded ...

I'm jaded but I'm not lost.

02/22/2019 01:59 PM 

Journal Stuff

She's lost,
And he's finding her, 
A beauty as he cuts away the thorns of a rose or,
He decides a thousand small pricks is worth the sweet scent,
For after all,
There only pricks.
And not gashes.


He can bare the pain, 
Because it's not that bad,
He'll love them,
Along with the flower,
Because what is a rose without its thorns.


And to love a rose fully, 
You have to love the thorns, 
Same way as to love her, 
He has to love her flaws.
And he would do that any day.

02/22/2019 01:57 PM 

Journal Stuff

I promise that we will never part
I promise that you will always have my heart

I promise that I will always love you.

I may never give you a diamond ring
Or that house upon the hill
But I promise that you will always be happy.

These promises I have kept until the day I died and as my final wish I want you to be happy.
Do not cry for me.
Do not miss me.
Because I promise that one day we will be united once again.

But until then,
promise me that you will love someone as much as I loved you.

02/22/2019 01:56 PM 

Journal Stuff

I am a seed in the ground awaiting to sprout,
Ready to be born and see what's all around,
As my seed splits open my stalk shoots out,
I still can't see even though I'm out of the ground,

Shameful is what is to deprive me of a sense,
I can hear, I can smell, I can feel, but I want to see,
I'm a small flower I have not one defense,
I wonder where I grew and whose nurturing me,

My petals open and the first thing I see is him,
Warmth spreads over top my petals as I reach,
I stretch towards him and whisper on whims,
The day I'm tall enough I listen for him to preach,

Surly he is a god, or at least a higher power,
I love him and hate to see him leave,
To him it seems I'm more than a mere flower,
When the moon takes his place I grieve,

I sleep and wait through the night,
I withstand the storms that rage,
How I wish I could grow wings and take flight,
I'm rooted to the ground like a bird in a cage,

The winter is coming and I grow cold,
I know it won't be long and I'll be gone,
I stare at my beloved the color of gold,
The moon shines I sleep, begging to see the dawn,

02/22/2019 01:53 PM 

Journal Stuff

As I tend to you, in your death. 
I feel I know you, by those you left. 
You must have been, a wonderful man. 
The strengh and character, of your clan

I see love, deep in their eyes. 
The pain they feel is no disquise. 
The gentle way , they touch your hand. 
As you are drifting, to the promised land.

Your children talked, of being raised. 
Respect and devotion, lived at your place. 
Grateful to God, they appeared to be. 
Happy to be a part of your family.

Your wife's heart, is beating loud. 
Tears well up, her eyes did cloud. 
Unable to speak, she begins to cry. 
Begging to God, to not let you die.

So you see, my friend, this life is past. 
But the values you left, will always last. 
Though I never knew you, I know you well. 
Your life, your love, their eyes did tell.

02/21/2019 12:42 PM 

Journal Stuff

You reached for my heart 
Painting it lightly 
Like an empty canvas
For you to make art

You erased my black 
You erased my white 
Replaced it with color 
So I can feel bright

I’m just a heartbeat 
One of the billions 
Though you chose my soul
You thought it was sweet

Just one heartbeat 
Followed my millions 
Just one heartbeat 
With a rhythm to repeat

You healed my cuts and bruises 
You caught me in my fall
You broke my wall
You made me feel tall

Now we’re complete 
I hold you tight 
‘Cause you are my heartbeat
And I am your light

02/21/2019 12:40 PM 

Journal Stuff

Empathy and pity two very different things
One helps you grow through pain
The other sorrow sings

If I want your pity
I will bring you tears of pain
And throw my sorrow at you
So you too can disdain
I need your grief to reinforce
The grip upon my own
Because the pain that I foster
Is what I call my home
Do not ask me what I can do
To help enrich my growth
I want you to cry with me
Since I don’t want to cope

If I want your empathy
Please try to understand
I do not want your tears of grief
But may ask to hold your hand
I need you to ask me what I can do
To help enrich my growth
This way I know you care enough
To look with me towards hope

02/21/2019 12:36 PM 

Journal Stuff

Spirited, friendly and sound of heart
Barely dawn and ready to start.
Sick calls and a complaining M.D.
All I want is my first coffee.

Co-ordinating clerks and staff
I don't know the troubles ahead by half.
Barely nine and the E.D.'s hopping
And triage shows no signs of stopping.

Broken equipment, back orders, the lot;
"Caregiver-in-charge, line…" will it ever stop?
Pulled from the front area to the back
Continual calls about this and that!

Trauma caregivers one and two on break together
And another trauma arrives due to bad weather.
The paper chase that never ends
Seems to want to be my perpetual friend.

Break time has long come and far gone
And my meal was eaten by someone's son
Aching back and feet that are sore
Must get all admitted patients to the floor.

No time to even check the schedule for tonight
Dear Lord, I hope the numbers are all right!
Three-thirty, four-thirty, now it is five,
How could I ever have felt alive?

I cover an old lady waiting in the hall
She looks cold and fragile, like a porcelain doll.
"Thank you" she says, eyes filled with loneliness and sorrow
It is because of her I'll be back tomorrow.


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