Breakdown - Notali - Drabble

“Are you alright?”

Her words were kindly meant, but they were the last thing Sephiroth wanted to hear. His breath hitched and he felt every last shred of his resolve crumble like an ill-formed dam. The flood water tumbled through and his head fell forward. As much as he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, or the shuddering of his shoulders, he did not want her to see him crying. His weakness was reserved for him alone, and he would keep it that way. Except…

Her hand touched his forearm and he looked up before he could stop himself. He swallowed. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he screwed his eyes shut and coughed out another wave of pain.

“You don’t have to hide, you can talk to me, if you want to,” Notali said.

Sephiroth shook his head, his voice robbed by the thickness in his throat. It was all too soon. How could he talk to her about it when he was still going through what had happened? Still trying to process the sudden, violent death of his friend. His chest tightened and he sucked in a breath. “Not now,” he said, his voice sounding raw. His eyes stung with the already shed tears; there would be plenty more to come of that he was sure. “I want to, just… I need some more time.”

She gave his bicep a light squeeze, the smile on her face was sadder than he expected. “He was my friend too,” she said. “I understand.” He pushed stray strands of hair back from his face, letting her see his red stained eyes. Notali pressed some tissue into his hand and another wave of tears fled his eyes. He could take it if she was unkind, if she snapped at him to get over it and ignored his display. The kindness was every bit as heart breaking as the loss. He wiped the tears away and blew his nose. It felt a bit better.

Sucking in a shuddering breath, he offered Notali a weak smile. “I’m going for a shower and to get cleaned up. We can talk after?” Notali nodded. He patted her shoulder. When he had showered, he was sure he would be ready to talk.