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farewell my friend,
find my senses in disorder  Hold on to Me   The wind whirled and twirled around her as she walked the lonely walk home. Home? Is it even a home without Jin? Is it even worth living without Jin there to cheer her up? Is it even worth living without Jin there next to her, living her life the way she wants to and with Jin cheering her on? At a time like this, she could hear Jin saying "Put on a jacket, Little Toga. Don't let your cute self catch a cold." She quickly shut out any thoughts of him. It was easier this way. Until she got to her room. One foot after another, she focused on her steps rather than the tears rolling down her cheeks and white-knuckled the thrashed, old notebook stuck at her side. Even on a dark, musky night like tonight, anyone could smell the salt in her tears. As she arrived at the hideout, memories flooded her brain. How was Spinner or Dabi or Mr. Compress grieving? Surly, they must be hurting as she were. But, she could not remember when she last left her room, or if anyone had visited her... When she got to her room, she rummaged through a pile of random things on a desk and brought out a pen taking a seat on the floor and back to a wall. Opening the top page of the notebook, it ripped out of the binding effortlessly, then she tossed it aside. Putting the pen to the new top paper, she scribbled, to make sure there was ink in the pen, then started writing... to Jin. Dear diary,
Well, I was told that writing about your feelings will help you overcome your trauma...but what trauma? haha right? Wait, no I mean...oh well...i guess this is how I'm starting...why did it have to be you? why didnt we have more time? why didnt I tell you everything? I guess this is why Im writing to you like this, it's still weird that i cant talk to you. I can't tell you how the other day I seen that bird you used to feed was with another bird. Maybe, it's with its sister. Maybe, they were keeping each other company...whatever the case, I wish you were here to keep me company..  She stopped writing. Tears covered her vision as she tossed the notebook against the wall and gripped the pen with her thumb pressing against the tip. Enough pressure that she started bleeding and dripping blood on her clothes and floor. Frustrated at the world, she screamed. The last time she would ever see him was in her arms, melting like a popsicle left out on a hot day. Her rage overfilled her heart and her eyes went dark from the hatred. She licked the mixed excess blood and ink from her thumb, then grabbed the messy notebook, again, starting to write as blood smeared the paper. Life hasn't been fair to us, but you always made life bearable. Like before I came here to write to you, I bought you your favorite chips...but I ate them because I was hungry. You did always have good taste in food. Maybe, I can get Dabi to try them one of these times...but you already know how he is. Speaking of Dabi, he gave me your blood. Of all things this guy has up his sleeve, I didn't think it'd be his heart. I know you'd give him a big ol' hug for showing feelings and you know, I wouldnt mind one right now. But, I know you'd literally knock sense into me for feeling like this. What keeps me going is knowing we can live how we want...and that's how I'm going to live. Let's keep smiling, Jin...right?
oxoooo, your little toga,
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