speaking out - pass this around idc
Category: Real Life

hey slow burn!!

my friends and i have tried our best to be civil to you - see: absolutely ignoring your existence and staying in our own circles - but it seems you don’t want to extend the same courtesy to us. i thought by you preemptively blocking me and donryu on ani, that was you saying ‘cool, i don’t want to talk to them either.’

it could have worked, you know. the most reaction you used to get out of me until yesterday when i saw your grayed out box on ani was an eye roll and a shrug. but now, i’m finding out that you have been going around to people and telling fibs.

so, i’m going to tell you now: i don’t want to see you except in passing any more. i don’t want to hear about you telling people that we started stuff with you and making yourself out to be some kind of victim anymore. the ACTUAL victim in this scenario was happy to leave it alone, but now he’s having to sift through the bullcrap that WE ALL SAW you put him through in order to prove that he’s not lying, and that’s not fair to him at all.

even now, i’m trying to react as civilly as possible. every time you made donryu cry, every time he showed me your dms and told me that he was selfish and unlovable because you put that crap in his head, i had to bite my tongue because he was still with you and i didn’t want to get in between your relationship any more than i was by simply helping him deal with your verbal abuse and guilt tripping.

really, could you be any more of a narcissist? donryu is a person too, but every time he reminded you that he had a life he had to tend to outside of your bullsh*t, you made it into some sort of sadness olympics. guilt tripping him with phrases such as “you just don’t want me anymore” because he went to a friend about an issue he was having instead of you (an actual quote!! i come bearing receipts!! image one!, image two!, and image three!), or telling him he could write with friends but then making him feel awful about it and telling him that he should just date them instead?

and you know what? this isn’t even the big issue here.

it’s the fact that you knew donryu was a minor when you first started talking to him, calling him ‘baby boy’ and other questionable things. it’s the fact that donryu turned 18 years old, and you started dating him less than a month later. it’s the fact that you groomed him.

you GROOMED HIM.

what, did you want a younger partner that you could manipulate because they were too naive to know that you were a f***ing creep?

he would always tell me “oh, slow burn wasn’t like this when we first started talking! i don’t know what happened!” it was textbook, really. it still is, the way that you’re running around and trying to put yourself in front of everything you did and all the lies you spread. even now, i’m sure that there are going to be a lot of people who will still stick up for you because you’ve wormed your claws into them. i’m not mad at those people - i empathize that they also fell victim to you. i’m empathetic that you were so convincing that they didn’t see the point in asking for the other side of the story.

THAT’S the reason i’m sharing all of this with everyone. i hope that by sharing what he did to donryu, i can ensure that nobody says ‘nobody warned me’. i don’t care if you unfriend me or block me after this. i just want you to read it, absorb it. i hope one day, when he starts treating you the same way, when he starts acting as if his time is more important than yours, when he turns everything into the saddest situation you’ve ever heard for sympathy, that you remember that someone tried to tell you this is how he is.

a list of things he’s done to people, in no particular order:

-CHILD GROOMING. donryu was a minor when they first started talking to each other online. flirtatious comments started BEFORE donryu was a consenting adult. during a convention some of us went to together, he then made connections with a then-minor in order to cosplay together. said minor has admitted that he said things that were uncomfortable to her.

-ABUSE. degrading donryu while they were dating (receipts: image 1 and image 2). verbal abuse. VERBAL ABUSE. read that and tell me that isn’t verbal abuse. donryu is obviously having a break down in those screenshots, and slow burn is cussing him.

-NARCISSISTIC MANIPULATION. when slow burn doesn’t get attention the way he wants, he has hinted at suicidal ideation and made extreme depressive comments. after giving donryu the okay to write with other people (who slow burn was ALSO writing with), slow burn would then get passive-aggressive any time that donryu wasn’t paying attention to him (HE IS A YOUNG ADULT IN COLLEGE!!!) and blame it on him writing with other people and ‘replacing’ him.

-NONCONSENSUAL DESCRIPTORS OF HIS RELATIONSHIP. on several occasions, slow burn made clear to me that he was sexually unsatisfied with his partner (who we are both friends with). he referred to donryu as a ‘pillow princess’. this was when donryu was not around to defend himself. i never consented to this information about their relationship and was very uncomfortable. i am not the only person he made these remarks to.

-DISRESPECTING BOUNDARIES. a group of us went to his city for a convention. literally a week before the convention, once the hotel room was paid for and we were ready to go, he drops the bomb that he has no one to go with and asks if he can tag along with us. this is fine, we decided. then he requests that he can hang in our hotel room with us. none of us were comfortable with this development, so we told him no. he then proceeded to go to donryu to complain about the situation. (receipts: image 1 and image 2.) he guilted all of us. ON TOP OF THAT, a few days before the convention i suffered a severe back injury. at the convention, slow burn proceeded to climb all over me while fully knowing about my injury and the extent of it.

-STALKING. at the next convention, which was held about two weeks after slow burn and donryu broke up, he proceeded to get a group of cosplayers together to INTIMIDATE DONRYU. he specifically chose when the rest of us were not around donryu to do so. if i went to park my car? slow burn had him cornered in the lobby somewhere. he didn’t try to talk to him, just stood near him and threw him nearly into anxiety attacks.

-BEING GENERALLY PETTY. after he avoided people coming to get donryu’s things, lied to a mutual friend about plans to exchange the items that HE NEVER MADE, and generally making a fuss about everything…it took donryu getting his mom to threaten a police escort for him to leave the things out for donryu to take. on top of that, when he left them out, he decided to leave them in the pouring rain. there was a perfectly good indoor hall to the airbnb he was staying in. he could have just let donryu use the code one last time. instead, he risked ruining electronics. the homeowner ended up bringing the box inside (which, by the way, was missing key items that slow burn didn’t even purchase for donryu and had no claim to). if you’re wondering “oh hey, why didn’t donryu just grab the stuff before they broke up?” know that it’s because slow burn wouldn’t let him. besides, his home was so dirty he couldn’t find things, and the things he had in storage he made an absolute FUSS about any time donryu asked about them because he was CERTAIN that was the only thing that was keeping them together.

there’s probably a TON that i missed (definitely is, actually), but i’m leaving it with this note: if you want to be petty, you’re not the only one who can stoop to a certain level. know that this was me being as nice as possible considering you dragged other people into this, shosho. i won’t be nice past this.