Why is it so f***ing hard? That's a stupid question now, isn't it? My whole life has been filled with "hard" or is that just now? Because every single thing up until this f***ing point fails in comparison. You're the song in the back of my mind that lulls me to sleep. You're the dull ache in my black heart that longs to be loved. You're always there, even when you aren't. For the life of me, I can't understand why. Are my verbal lashings not enough to deter you? Knowing the sh*t you like in bed, I guess I shouldn't be to surprised, should I?

It never dawned on me until just recently, just who you were, and that this whole time I was wrong about you. I was way off f***ing mark, man. I guess I always had it stuck in the back of my brain that you were just some high and mighty, stuck-up blue blood. A good for everything, f***ing around with a good for nothing like me just for sport. Because you could, and you knew you had the power to do it because I needed something from you. Maybe it's why I couldn't wrap my mind around your stupid feelings ...Christ on a stick they aren't stupid. I'm f***ing stupid. You called me for help, and I blew you off.

It wasn't until I saw those beautiful feathers being whisked away right in front of my eyes ...  I didn't need to see it all to know. I finally f***ing got it. You can get hurt. You were hurt, and I didn't so sh*t about it. It shouldn't have been Moxxie and Millie. It should have been me. You've given me whatever I wanted, but the one thing I never had was always unobtainable to me until that day. I couldn't go see you, I didn't want to see you like that. I couldn't see you like that knowing that ... You were only like that because of me. I could have saved you but I chose to f*** up instead, I always f*** up. I was never as terrified as I was that day. The day I almost realized too f***ing late, how much I --- nah. It's not for me. That feeling can't be for someone like me.

It doesn't matter if I'm with you or not. You're destined for greatness, and I'm just a lower classed loser, bred to eat sh*t. You sang about giving me a choice, and I guess you thought you were giving me freedom, but darling ... It's me who should set you free. You hold the whole galaxy at your fingertips. The stardust that lingers betwix your feathers could never measure up to the ethereal beauty of not only your lineage but your heart. You deserve better, someone who will rush to your aid. You need that soul that is so in tune with yours, that you won't ever have to call for help. You certainly don't need a son of a bitch like me, who's to scared of their own feelings to be there for you when you need them the most.